Troubled Heart

May 7, Fifth Sunday of Easter
Sunday Readings: 1st Reading – Acts 6:1-7; Gospel – John 14:1-12

The first reading signifies an increased number of disciples and believers in Jesus. They even assigned leaders to organize and lead the followers of Jesus and continue to spread the good news and the call for conversion. It shows that more and more people put their trust in God as it reflects on the responsorial psalms, which show that people ask for God's mercy as they trust him.  

The second reading speaks of the rejected stone by the builders becoming the cornerstone. The rejected stone represents Jesus, whom people mocked and crucified. But because Jesus was resurrected on the third day and visited his disciples, people increased in number and believed in him as the Son of God.   Furthermore, the testimonials of the disciples help a lot to invite people to come to worship Jesus. It motivates people to respond to the invitation to have faith in God and follow his commandments.

The gospel for the fifth week of Easter shows that Jesus remained with His disciples for a while and assured them that whoever believes in Him, He will take care of them, as He emphasized that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and that no one goes to the Father except through Him. Though the disciples are anxious about their mission of spreading the good news because of Jesus' guidance, they become more confident in carrying out their assignments all over the world. Jesus' random visit to the disciples and joining them in breaking the bread gives an assurance that He will be with them all throughout their missions on earth.

Our lives are full of surprises. Sometimes we let go of what we really want because the amazing God makes his way. I was so excited to join the U-belt (university belt) AGAPE faith circle, an activity of the ministry on the campus of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Manila (RCAM). I was excited. After all, for the first time, I will be one of the sharers because, usually, my task as a campus minister is to look for and provide a sharer to represent the campus. This time all the campus ministers under the U-belt cluster will be gathered to share our reflection on the Sunday gospel. But before the recording date, I was given an additional load as a nursing faculty member to handle nursing students in the community-related learning experience. The problem is the date coincided with the date of the recording.  Upon consultation with my coordinator, she told me I could look for another date for makeup on a missing day. This bothered me a lot because students have their schedules, and there might be conflicts with the clinical and community duty roster schedules. I tried to weigh everything as I prayed and reflected, prioritizing is the most important. I told the group, go ahead we will participate in the collaborators and student group. Though my heart is restless because  I want to join the activity, I must let go and prioritize. The most important thing to do is to accompany my students in their community duty. But God found a way for me to join in this activity. We were able to fulfill the task on that exposure and the last day, I was allowed to meet my students in the school, allowing me to be with the group for the AGAPE.  Truly God answered my restless heart. “John 14:1 says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled, you have faith in God; have faith also in me.” This verse captured my journey in this AGAPE faith in a circle. For God made his way, knowing that my intention is pure.

In my experience, though I wanted to join AGAPE, some things cannot be controlled, just like the additional load given to me. I tried to have a win-win solution by prioritizing the most important thing. In my heart, to share in the AGAPE for the first time is a privilege, and at the same time, I am also in communion with my cluster. I will be representing our school campus and that is an honor. But on the other hand, students need a Clinical Instructor for their community duty, and with a CI to accompany them, they can go on their duty because this is the policy, No CI, no duty.

But God moves mysteriously, and as I let go, God surprised me by offering a solution to address my concerns. I was able to accompany my students in their community exposure, and at the same time, I was able to join and be part of the AGAPE faith circle.  

God, I thank you for embracing my troubled heart and for allowing me to address the tasks that I need to fulfill, for I truly believe that you are the way, the truth, and the life. Amen.